It’s what they want to see

“It’s often said that, no matter the truth, people see what they want to see. Some people might take a step back and find out they were looking at the same big picture all along”

Appearances can be deceiving, and I’m not one to judge the secrets that lie beneath the surface, always changing and shaping who you are and who you will become. However, there are times in life you need to re-evaluate your secrets, your passions, your scandals and judge whether that part of you is worth keeping around.

Life is filled with so many hard choices that you don’t expect to affect you the way you do, but once again, you are shocked at how the pure gravity of the choice leaves you breathless. All of these small things like friends and school and jobs influence the way you think and the things you do. Most people assume that they would always choose the same choice no matter their environment but I have to say, genetics isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. It’s made to seem that you are who you are, no if’s and’s or but’s, but I am coming to notice all of the influences that are clouding my vision.

My vision of who I am, my vision of who I want to be, and my vision of what I want my life to hold.

While I love the people that surround me, I hate them for holding me down. What’s stopping me from jetting to Europe or South America for the evening? My family, my friends, and all the obligations that come with them. I realize that I couldn’t live without them, but sometimes I can’t live with them. Have you ever wanted to travel to a foreign country and take on a whole new identity? See who you can become and how far you can go? See all the possibilities that exist for the different you?

The fact that there are all these possibilities is quite terrifying and quite freeing at the same time. One wrong move and your life could be changed forever, or one right move and your life will never be the same.

These choices and possibilities make you take a step back and rethink your decisions. These what-if’s in life can ruin a person as they constantly chase after the endless possibilities or can make a person as they constantly chase after their dreams. No matter how you look at it or what choices you make, your perspective is what makes or breaks you.

Are you going to choose to be held back or will you choose to be let free?

“It’s often said that, no matter the truth, people see what they want to see. Some people might take a step back and find out they were looking at the same big picture all along”

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough”

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough”

If I were to fast forward to 85 year old Serena, what would I think about my life? Would I think my life was filled with accomplishments and things to be proud of? Would I think about my children and grandchildren and how I influenced them to be the best people they could possibly be? What about my marriages, or failed marriages? Would I regret taking those leaps of faith, or would I be proud that I had the courage to try?

Thinking about the 85 year old version of myself is both inspiring and horrific at the same time. In one perspective, I hope to have lived a full, happy life filled with endless opportunities and chances to grow. In the other perspective, I wouldn’t want to know that my journey was so close to being over.

There is a part of me that wants to do, see, feel, and experience everything. No matter the location, the job, the food, the person, the outfit, I want to feel like I lived my life to complete fulfillment.

Who cares if sometimes I fail my classes, fall in love with the wrong guys, and snap at my best friend? Who cares if someone steals my taxi, steals my ideas, or steals my heart? Who cares if I missed out on an opportunity that could possibly change my life or made a decision and knowingly changed my life forever? Ever single thing I have ever done, made me who I am today. And that is something I can be quite proud of.

I don’t want to be a person like Blair who think she has it all planned out. This summer she has spending time trying to perfect wedding plans and train herself to take the throne with grace and beauty. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve helped her pick out flowers, a dress, or help her memorize all her lines for countless ceremonies.

I can’t say I haven’t enjoyed spending my summer with her, but watching her makes me sad. Not because she’ll be leaving soon but because she’s changing. She’s becoming less Blair everyday.

What would 85 year old Blair think about her life when she looked back? Would she be happy she chose Louis over Chuck? Would she regret subjecting herself to a lifetime of pleasing the Queen? Would she learn to loathe the dresses, the parties, and all the other duties of a royal? Would she regret leaving me?

I would like to know, but sadly I never will. I can only hope that our decisions bring us together but, currently, that future doesn’t look so bright. While Blair’s journey is leading her down one path, mine is taking me down another. One full of opportunities, chances, and possibilities.

I know when I am 85 years old, I will look back on my life and smile. Not because of the things I did or didn’t do, but because of who I am.

My journey isn’t over. It has only begun.

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough”

Do you have what it takes?

Welcome future socialites,

Click the link below to find all the information about the Crowning a Socialite contest.

http://qik.com/video/41098682

Application
Blog link:
Polyvore:
Email:
Characters you want in order of most to least: 1) 2) 3) 4) 5)

Just put the character’s names next to the numbers and you can apply for as many or as little characters as you want. Number one is the character you want the most and just go down the list from there!

Possible characters:

Jenny H, Vanessa, Penelope, Charlie, Isable, Katie, ANY of the guys on the show

May the best elite win.

-S.

“In love, it is better to know and be disappointed, than to not know and always wonder.”

In love, it is better to know and be disappointed, than to not know and always wonder.

As most of you know, Dan was the love of my life. Or at least, he was the love of my life.

When I came back from boarding school, I had expected my life to be exactly how I left it: Glamorous. Filled with riches. Filled with best friends to share those riches with. And last, but definitely not least, Blair.

What can I say about Blair? She is the kind of friend that can make you feel warm inside, even when the Manhattan winter is nipping at your bare legs as you attempt to look hot in the coldest season of them all. She can make you laugh during the most painful heartbreak or nastiest fight you’ve had with your mother. She can make any outfit, no matter how ridiculous, look so fabulous you wish you would have thought of it first.

Most of all, Blair is the kind of girl that would stick by your side no matter how drunk, how rude, how love-sick, or how lame you were the night before. I can’t tell you how many times I woke up at noon on a Saturday and Blair was sitting in my living room with a low fat latte, two aspirin, and a giant blueberry muffin as she read my mother’s old Vogue magazines.

I know it doesn’t seem like much, but in a world where how much money your parents make is included on your college resume, having a best friend like Blair is the best thing a girl could ask for, and the only thing a girl like me could want.

Now it may seem like things were always perfect between us, but let me tell you, they weren’t.

When I came home from boarding school, Blair was less than welcoming.  After finding out about me and Nate’s… rondevu…  I expected her to never speak to me again. But, as expected, Blair and I are like magnets. You can’t keep us apart. Oh, and I dare you to try.

Now this is where Dan enters my life.

When I came back to the Upper East Side, my life quickly became dull and bland without Blair or Nate. Before boarding school, they were the light in my dark city. Without them, I was nothing. So as any smart girl would do, I found a boy to entertain me. That boy’s name was Dan.

He was charming and funny and totally different than anyone else I had ever been with. Something about him was alluring. Dan and I lasted a few years and endured some pretty crazy things. Like finding out we were related. Definitely not your average fight with your boyfriend.

However, now that I know me and Dan are done I am ready to start dating again. Blaire’s found her prince and I am ready to find mine. Maybe not one that comes with a royal family and a title but definitely someone that comes with a good time and a few late nights to keep me busy this summer.

Looking back do I regret going out with Dan? No. Could I have spent that time finding a better boyfriend for me? Probably. But you know what they say, in love, it is better to know and be disappointed, than to not know and always wonder.

-S.

The key to change is to let go of fear

The key to change is to let go of fear

As most of you know, I believe in changes and fresh starts more than anybody else on the Upper East Side. That is why I, Serena Van Der Woodsen, have made three big changes in my life.

Change one starts with a snap-decision and years of bad habits. While my friends spent their evenings studying and joining extracurricular activities, I spent time my time with a dirty martini and some of my best, and drunkest, friends. Being infamous for my party-girl attitude came with perks, and consequences.

One of those consequences was Pete Fairman. After Pete’s overdose, I realized that my life was wrong. A lie. Things had to change.

I chose to change everything about me. I left the Upper East Side, the place I called my home. The place my family lived. The place that me and my best friends called, “The City.” Leaving New York was the hardest thing I have ever done, and the best. While I was in boarding school, I discovered a love for politics and philosophy and art and all these other things I hadn’t cared about before. This change, the first change, probably saved my life and put me back on what all of our parents have once called “The Right Track.”

Change two starts with my brother. When I realized how much I hurt Erick by leaving, I knew I had to make things right and go back to Manhattan. That is why I decided to leave boarding school and move back home. Even though I was only gone a year, more than a few things had changed.

The hardest thing was seeing Blair again. I expected her to be happy to see me. My expectations quickly changed. Saying Blair was less than friendly to me, was like saying Blair and Chuck would get together. Completely unexpected, yet it happened. Blair and I had always been best friends and even though we had some rough times, we are still best friends. And I pray to god that, that part of my life,  never changes.

Change three starts with this guy named Dan. While Dan is a nice guy, he is the opposite of what I have looked for in past relationships. He wasn’t hot in that every-girl-in-Manhattan-has-his-phone-number kind of way, he wasn’t remotely athletic, and he didn’t have a lot of friends. Wait, let’s make that any friends.

When people ask me why I dated Dan, I look back and laugh. Not because I think it’s funny that people don’t see him as this amazing guy that was perfect for me. Not because I think they are trying to make a joke. Because, honestly, I have no idea why.  Yes, Dan is sweet and funny and kind-hearted and not quick to judge but in the jungle that we call New York City, that means absolutely nothing.  I needed more. Much more.

And I am still looking for that something more. Will I find it? I hope so. Am I scared? No. Do you know why?  Because the key to change is to let go of fear.  And I am ready, baby. Bring. It. On.

-S.

Under Renovations

Hello Upper East Siders!

The blog of Serena Van Der Woodsen is currently under renovations! Sorry 😉

-S.